black rainy nite

lol

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 05:56:48 GMT

Well, lol, i guess i'm back again. usually because i have alot on my mine and body. I can't take it any more. i'm ready to go. take me now. i'm done. i'm so fucking sick and tired of helping people and helping people, and helping people and getting nothing back, no gratitude even. you ask for advice i tell you and you shove it in my face. you want me to do more, so i take on new projects and head them up, and fell like it's still not enough. you tell me that you are going to do stuff and they don't get done till i do. Thank you. thank you for making me the bitch i guess i need to be to get anything done. Thank you for making me see that i really am a much better person than you. Thank you for nothing. you are worthless to me untill you figure your own life out. i'm speechless. i honestly don't know what to say but this is my destress and tomorrow, is a new day. and this week is going to change everything. either you change or i change. i have a feeling i know which one it's going to be. so good bye. please be gone when i wke up...

REALLY HAPPY!!

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 02:39:53 GMT

Well two great things happened to me today. I had a pretty good day in general but 2 things in the last half hour made it GREAT!!!

thing one....i got my HOBET scores. For those of you who don’t know it is the Health occupation basic entrance test thing i had to take to get into the radiography program. well i got a 94 on the math part and an 88 on the reading and a 91 composit. those are the three that matter. According to the paper that puts me in the 99 percentile all around... so. i’m figuring that that is good. but i won’t know till the beginning of next month if it is good enough to get me into the program.

ok number 2) I finally passed my kidney stone tonight!!! thank god. cuz i was in quite a bit of weird pain tonight. I still hurt a little bit, feel a little weird.... but at least that one is out. Un fortunately i have one sitting in my left kidney still.... but i will worry about that one... when it starts to hurt. lol

Just to top it all off I START WORK TOMORROW!!!! I’m excited. happy to have something to keep my busy. and learn new stuff, and be around animals and ... well other people for a while.

Oddly tho, i’ve been getting a blody nose lately. Nothing like flowing blood, but like a runny nose with blood mixed in. i know too much info... lol. It’s got to be the weather. it rained ALOT the other day but now its drier again. Comming from Florida i’m use to it being humid. My body is still ajusting.

Oh, i’m stil doing well in school still. after one semester i’m on the honors list.

one last thing!!! 30 days and counting. lol. till what? check my profile, i’ll be putting up a count down soon..

Ok, well, that’s what is going on with me. I hope everyone else it going good too

pissy

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 18:35:20 GMT

I don't know what's going on again. Things are good. I might be getting a job at an animal hospital which isn't a people hospital but it's a step in the direction of more of a career. it's not waitressing again that is for sure. got a 2nd interview tonight and should know about a 3rd and final interview by wed of next week. so i could be wroking at a pretty darn good job by the end of the month. GREAT!!!.... mike and i are good, i think, tho i'm pretty sure i just pissed him off. we go out, we layed out and watched the eclips of the moon last night. yet something is wrong. i still feel like no matter what i do ot how much i try to do it's not enough again. it was suppose to be different this time. Do better in school...check. Be closer to my family and spend more time with them.... check. have a good guy...check. Have someone to reall depend on and be happy with...mostly check. Find friends...working on a check. Find a not waitstaff job.... really close to check. I think. Find a tkd school and be involved in it....big check. So... WTF?! why am i so damn unhappy sometimes. I know everyone has thier days but it seems mine are those weeks. I can't put my finger on the thing making it hard. i have a few ideas. i'm still working on weather those are my fault or not. sometimes i don't think it is because i am really trying. and i really see a difference in who i am, but i guess it's not enough or fast enough for some people. But i don't voice it because i'm still figuring it out. i don't want to make a big deal out of things and be wrong. i want to make sure i'm right, that it's not me and my fault. when they are MY problems, MY faults i keep them to Myself. I know that i have someone to talk to and i'm sorry i don't talk to you. I just CAN'T. honestly can not. i hope reading this might help you understand it's not any of ya'll fault it's just who i am. for the rest of you...enjoy the shpeel. :(

holidays

Thu, 27 Dec 2007 15:27:01 GMT

well, half the holidays are over. No snow this years but it doesn't usually snow here anyways... just a hope. It was just mike and I this year. My parents and sister went out of town so we spent the week at there house dog sitting and house sitting. It was nice in some respects and not so nice in others. The dogs drove me nuts. But it was great for mike and i to spend our first holiday alone. actually might make me like the halidays. hope everyone eles where good too!!

update

Sun, 23 Dec 2007 03:29:46 GMT

Well, i'm no longer in Tampa. i'm in Charlotte NC. I'm going to school at the community college for Radiography. My christmas is pretty much over. my family is going out of town and i'm dog sitting. My boyfriend is working nights now. so he's gone from about 6pm to 8am over the weekend. i guess that that is better than him working 12 hours in the day time. at least now i can sleep though the time's when he's not here. It's hard. I miss him like freaking crazy and it's just 12 hours. lol. it's a new feeling. anyway's., it's cold. We found a TKD school that we are going to start going to. Getting back in shape. i guess that's about it for now. hollar later. lol.
nic

wow it's been too long

Sun, 16 Dec 2007 16:57:57 GMT

wow it's been forever. I hope that this will be another way to get stuff off my check. Leave me a message. talk to you later. Love nicole

sigh

Thu, 16 Feb 2006 16:33:10 GMT

been doing alot of thinking...never a good thing. V-day sucks ass...rusty decided the 13th that we aren't going to be seeing each other as often if at all really. he's got too much to worry about to be in any kinda relationship. followed by "o ya tomorrow's v-day isn't it. i forgot...sorry" then the 15th he askes me if i would be ok with him going out on a date with some girl from work...sure go for it. that would make me happy...::drip drip sarcasm drip:: well, the 13th i went with him to get his industrial peircing. it was horrible!!! the guy was sooo bad. fucked up like 3 times befor he got it close enough to right for rusty to tell him to leave it. it made me so sick to watch him bleed and have holes peirced in him...I couldn't watch him pierce his ear how am i suppose to be about to cut people open the rest of my life? what was i thinking? sigh...then steven starts being all mean to me and stuff. even when i'm trying to be nice. it's been a ruff few days with rusry and CRAPPY fucking work. omg...i have to get out of there...so i know my attitude hasn't been the greatest so i understand to an extent but even when i'm trying to be nice? i don't think so. maybe i should just move in to an apartment by myself. O i haven't poseted about kim on here yet either. lets just say i'm pissed at her. tried to help her not kill herself, she lied and tricked me went back to the cause of her problems (him) and then had him call me to tell me that i was really the cause of her problems...i don't think so. fuck that. done. so 3 people i talk to down...2 to go...and go figure it's the 2 people who will read this that are still around...hmmm...interesting. i'm sure ashley, that you will read this too. but we don't really talk much. i miss you bunches. when are you going to come see us down here? ...well, i'm ganna actually kinda pay attention in class...no i'm not. but i'm going to go for now. ttul.
melia

Mon, 30 Jan 2006 01:20:36 GMT

since so few people are ever still on here...maybe i can rant...i feel so alone...it's like where did all my friends go? why do i not have someone to tell everything too and cry on? i want things to be like they use to be. i'm ganna go cry now.

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 16:01:09 GMT

Your element is Darkness. You are the truly evil
one with a black heart and no soul. People
avoid you since you cause so much trouble and
enjoy seeing others in pain. You would like
nothing more than to rule this earth and be
hailed by all. Everyone is annoying and stupid
anyway and are a waste of oxygen. You are
probably a cast-away from society and family
and have had a tough life where you learned to
live the hard way. Now you want revenge on your
pain and can no longer feel love nor care. You
do not wish to befriend anyone and you
certainly do not wish to be in love. As a
student of having learnt everything the hard
way, you tend to be manipulative when you want
something for yourself. In your head there is
only you that matters, and why shouldn't it? No
one cares about you so why should you? In
school you probably ditch classes and go
somewhere else instead of sitting in a
classroom. It is not that you are stupid,
because you're probably very smart, but
everyone annoy you. And having to sit in the
same room, breathing the same air as your
enemies is not desired by you. Rate and
message!

What is your element? [with pics + detailed answeres]
brought to you by Quizilla

Your word is: Brooding. You are a true thinker and
often try to figure out the meaning of life,
why we are all here etc. You may not be so
social, and often think twice before acting but
those thoughts you have in your mind never stop
flowing in. Sometimes you can be so
concentrated you forget about other things that
you have to do. Don't change, this world needs
deep people.

What Dark Word Represents You? [anime pics]
brought to you by Quizilla

~*~Result nr 8~*~

Your power is: Extreme healing powers

Explanation: When injured your body
focuses on the wound and heals rapidly, within
a few seconds. This makes you pretty much hard
to kill and you can help people in danger using
yourself as a shield. Almost anything is
possible in combat but you prefer looking after
others. In bad purposes you can do the same as
above but for evil intentions.
This power fits you pretty good since you want
to help those around you, and when you are
pretty much unstopable, that's not an obsticle.
You are caring and nurturing and are more a
pascifist. Even if you know there are much
unfairness in the world you still chose to see
from a positive angle because you belive in the
good of this world. You are probably friendly
and have a soft spot for people who are not
accepted. Though to others you come of as naive
and gullible. You could be taken advantagde of
if the wrong person comes around. Even if you
could be seen as pure, you are not that
completely since you're human and make mistakes
too.

Negative aspects: If your naiveness has
been making you blind for too long you could go
into dark thinking.

What Power is Compatible With You? [beautiful anime pictures + 12 detailed results]
brought to you by Quizilla

"Close your eyes and let your memories embrace
you"

In your past, (whether it be as a child, a certain
relationship with someone or just a specific
timeperiod) you found happiness. Now, however,
you have lost it, and wish desperatly to go
back and relive it all. Because you focus too
much on what has already happened, you have a
problem with the future and don't really wish
to go there. You have mourned this loss for
quite some time now, and are too used to it to
let the familarity go. This situation is making
you frustrated, because you can't do anything
about it, but you remain unwilling to release
your memories.

What is Your Phrase? [for darker people]
brought to you by Quizilla

Wed, 22 Jun 2005 05:39:46 GMT

jonny! i thought of you wen i saw this. let me know if you want more info. i'm not sure if you got the whole e-mail but i can send it again if u want all the info. there is other stuff to but this cought my eye for u.

What’s new at Under the Gypsy Moon?? We are looking for people interested in taking classes to be trained in Reiki. Please contact any of us here at the shop to discuss this opportunity. If there is enough interest, we will be offering classes in Reiki as soon as this can be arranged.

not sure if you are still into this stuff but i figured i would mention it. mwah.

to everyone else: am update is to come...all i've really been doing lately is replying to people...guess i should update myself...maybe tomorrow. it's late now.

Tue, 24 May 2005 20:28:48 GMT

i'll try to think of all thos thingss...

01. Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
02. I will then tell what song/movie remind me of you.
03. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, it would be...
04. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
05. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
07. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
08. Put this in your journal

Other news!!
WE GRADUTATED!!! woot woot. done. no more highschool. dear gods it too long enough. i'm in my new place. i'm head over heels for a new guy. Rusty and his Son Devin...idk if i've mentioned them before. i can't wait for my family to leave. they have been driving me NUTS lately. but i have my own place to go to where they can't bother me....tho kc and steve still can...but i'm sure they won't. steve sleeps all day and kc works...that leaves just me to do whatever.
Carlos texted me the other day. it hurt but it was ok. he understands wat he did to me was wrong and it hurt me alot and y i don't really wanna talk to him right now. i do want to be able to be friends with him some day. i still care alot about him i'm just not sure how much right now and i don't need to put that kinda pressure on myself right now. carlos if you read this ...i'm sorry things ended how they did. i love you. i hope you can be happy again.
So splash bash is tonite...the last time i'll see alot of people from school. my grad party is friday...noone RSVPed really...that's cool. it can be small and mostly family...it's cool. that will make it cheeper...gadda worry about money right now...lol
I finially get to have a bug bed when the grandparents leave. probably around thursday dads ganna set it all up. i can't wait!! i want my Bed!!
i should be getting my tattoo on sat. my father is taking me down to Ebor and we are ganna get something done. speaking of ebor i went there for the first time sat nite. it was fun. we were ganna go to the ZAR but it was closed so we ended up in HEDO...pretty cool. lots more of the R&B stuff to dance too. went with rusty, kim, chris and his mom and dad.
well, i guess thats about it. talk to yall later.

Fri, 15 Apr 2005 21:19:56 GMT

being 18 hurts just as much if not more than 17....wtf? i'm suppose to have more fun, be able to due more stuff. fuck this. i'm sick of getting older. it makes things worse. no more holidays for me.

Wed, 13 Apr 2005 19:27:53 GMT

so, being 18 hurts worse than being 17 and it's only been...not even 2 whole days. at this rate my lifes going down hill and fast!! lol. o well, at least now i can go to the clubs and dance and get lost in a new world with people i NEVER have to know and who then in turn can't hurt me. everywhere i turn there are new dissapointments and new people offering them. other than Smith. you've always been here to help me out or just make me feel better. even if you did have to hurt yourself last nite to do so. :) thanx for being such a good friend. i'm always here if you ever need anything (an escape, help moving furnature so you don't hurt urself lol..anything) then there is kim who i've been spending more time with and who wants to take me to the clubs so we can have fun. of course that will be with her boyfriend too but watever. it will still be fun. i'm starting to be good friends with kaylin (guy) at school he's cool. likes trucks and play fights with me. it's not like i see him outside of school or anything witch makes me perfectly happy. i'm moving into my appartment May 7th (the day of prom) it's out on bears and livingston. you'll all have to come help me move in. yay. kinda scary. moving out, taking care of myself, collage...sigh. well, i guess i'm done for now. talk to ya'll later. mwah. outs

Tue, 05 Apr 2005 16:23:50 GMT

so, i'm home sick from school today. i'm way too stressed out!! it's too late in the year to have to be doing all this work. it's crazy. and even tho i'm home from school mom still gave me a bunch of stuff to do around the house. so it's not like i'm in bed getting better or anything. i'm quite surprised she let me stay home at all. she of course woke me up earlyer too to make sure i had time to do all my work. i'm still not doing it. i have to back at school at 3:30 for spectrum rehersal...blah. i broke down last nite from the stress and who was there to pick up my peices? peters. thanx. you always take care of me. well, i'm off to a shower. it's about the only thing i have to do today that i actually feel like doing. lol. mmmm nice hot steamy shower followed by a nice relaxing bath. i should be back in an hour or so. peace

Thu, 24 Mar 2005 18:16:02 GMT

well, i'm in Arizona with my cuz(mel). my cuz-in-law(les) isn't here tho. they are getting a divorce. so since he's not here i'm just sitting on the computer and or x-box till my cuz gets stuff done...d-back is here but he's still alseep...so it's me and the cats. i wanna see les but i can't. idk i didn't wanna come here kinda cuz of les but at since he's not here i'm bored. i still wanted to see him. eh...shit happens...i'll intertain myself till she gets back from the base. too bad i had to come just as all this divorce stuff happened. Its good for her tho. she took like compleat care of him and the bills and shit and now she won't have to. his mom will i guess...mel and i are ganna pack his shit up wen she returns with more boxes. then we are ganna "going out and do something crazy" tonite we are ganna dress up and go to he bar...-_- <---me not drinking and being the DD. as long as she has fun. it's kinda my little b-day present for her. her friend and i are ganna do her hair and makeup and try to find something in her wardrob that actually fits her...not big shirts and baggy pants...other than that alls the same pretty much. so i guess i'm out...ganna find something else to ake up my time. haha. mwah to all.

Mon, 28 Feb 2005 14:24:29 GMT

i really really should be writing my paper. only got like an hour. but i just can't for some reason. i NEED to. i have to pass this class. i could wite anything and get some crap grade and it would be better than a "0" but i can't just make myself.

tru

Mon, 21 Feb 2005 18:01:12 GMT

Your Hidden Power Is Water

You have a rather calm soul, but when tempted
will get pissed off at those who bug you. You
do whatever you can in your powers to help
those of your allies and have a okay taste for
human kind, but you find them rather annoying
on occasions.

Gem Stone: Saphire, Eye Color:Ice
Blue,Hair Color:Dark Blue that's long
that goes to your waist.

Quote:If you wait for me
Then I'll come for you. Although I've travelled
far, I always hold a place for you
In my heart. If you think of me, If you miss me
once in a while, Then I'll return to you. I'll
return and fill that space in your heart

What Is Your True Hidden Power? .::Beautiful Anime Pics::.
brought to you by Quizilla

Sat, 12 Feb 2005 21:24:28 GMT

idk. i'm off to work. hope everyone has a good weekend. happy early v-day..(v-day sux!! fyi) school's almost over!! had our sr. meeting. ordered my cap and gown. spring break is comming fast (going to AZ to see my cuz yay!!) my parents and sis will be gone all spring break so i'll have the house to myself again for a few days!! woot woot. guess i should get use to is. they won't be here soon. well, i'm off to ...work go figure. peace out bye

Fri, 11 Feb 2005 04:04:26 GMT

sigh...the vicious cycle begins

Sat, 05 Feb 2005 14:47:48 GMT

You have a romantic soul. You love people
especially the opposite sex (there is
exceptions and sorry if i offend you). You are
quite shy but have your loud times. You have a
handy amount of friends and you can rely on
them to keep your secrets. For most of those
secrets are about guys you like. You like the
romantic and optimistic way of love. And none
of this is bad at all. So keep up those
romantic ways! ^_^

CONSTANT UPDATING(NEW ANSWER) What kind of soul do you have? ( ENCHANTING anime pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

Wed, 02 Feb 2005 23:21:11 GMT

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness.
Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connect to your soul.
You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable.
Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.

You have great vision and can be very insightful.
In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself.
Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend.
You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Wed, 02 Feb 2005 23:09:59 GMT

MY ADVICE MADE NO DIFFERENCE. Y DID I BOTHER?!!! AHHHH!!!

He came to the same irrational conclusion even after say what i told him was right and valid. so what was the point in asking if he really didn't care what i had to say and was ganna go with his first decision? grrrr

Wed, 02 Feb 2005 22:51:32 GMT

la sigh. so today i went to school. it sucked as usual. marisa wasn't there. (hope u feel better babe. mwah) right after school i went over to Kyles. he made spagetti for dinner. it was good. (yes i'll admit it kyle it was good lol) we hung out and played x box and ps2. i gave him a massage before work. now i'm looking for something to do. i have something nice in mind but i have to talk to a few people first. yesturday like 4 people wanted me to go out. now i'm sitting here alone giving advice that i really don't want to be and don't know what to say... on a good note tho kyle's ganna try to get off early tonite so i can see him. :) his mommy likes me. his family is cool. god please don't let me screw this one up too. i'm so affraid to have a serious relationship with him (tho i want one) cuz i don't want things to be like they have been before. and that's not giving kyle a fair chance. but what am i suppose to do? what if i'm right and things turn out bad? but what if i'm wrong and he could be the guy to make me happy again (he already makes me happy when i'm around him) but he can do that without the serious relationship right? i just don't know. then we have to go back to the john issue. sigh. i'm done 4 now

Sat, 29 Jan 2005 19:33:17 GMT

happy but depressed. does that make any since. he's on right now. i'm too pathetic to delet his name..hopeing this is all a dream and that i'll need it again. people talk about him. but i'm not allowed. i think about him all the time. not always good. people ask me about him. it hurts to talk about him. what am i suppose to to do? i try to forget. i try to move on. but i can't cuz if i pick one of the guys i like the others will be hurt. and i don't wanna pick one. i like not having them have high expectations for me. not being too serious with any of them. not haveing resonsibilities to one of them. plus i love john...now more than ever. knowing he's still there for me. he plans on coming down for prom and i don't want to have a boyfriend to explain that to. i want to just go with john and not have any problems. to have one more perfect nite with him. my mom and igot in a fight today already. she won't talk to me and told me no to talk to her.. whatever. my shift manager for friday and sat nights pisses me off. i hate him. he made me cry last nite he pissed me off so bad. i just feel some of my friends don't care anymore. there's someone else who's more important and comes first and foremost. great but when will they have time for thier friends again? we'll i'm ganna go back to bed till work i guess. unless kyle wakes up and calls me then i'll be more than glad to get out of here. ttu people later.

brightest blessings to you
melia

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 21:02:10 GMT

i had a ruff night last nite. i let alot of emotions get the better of me. i did things i'm not proud of. don't ask what if you don't know i don't want you to. that goes for everyone tho so don't take it offensively. i've been so extreamly tired today and i'm not sure y. that's y when i'm done here (this will be short) i'm ganna go take a nap. to the person who posted the poem on my last post thanx. it's was beautiful. i know i've felt that way before. i would love to know who u r tho. if you don't want anyone else to know drop me a private line. (nmmfrogchick@yahoo.com) if you don't know.
tonite includes tkd and sleep. who knows wat else. but for now sleep. nite. post later.