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mood

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blank

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hahahahaha... i'm such an idiot, if i have learned nothing in life... specially lately... it's that nothing will ever work out. I get it, everyone just keeps telling me i shouldn't think that way... but why not, shouldn't i accept it so that it doesn't effect me every time? I would guess so... so please, stop telling me to "keep my chin up" or "look on the bright side" or "it will all work out, just keep going"... that's all i ask, thank you.

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mood

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sick

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seem to keep coming back here. Not much to post right now. just posting to post. still secure since none of my old friends get on. some seem to possibly come back but, they already know every thing i put on here. noone else will ever find this. i love my kitty sitting next to me. such a sweety. headed out to do the usually, pick up meds and TKD... then home to study and sleep. be back soon i think. :) need a new background.

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mood

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frustrated

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Well, lol, i guess i'm back again. usually because i have alot on my mine and body. I can't take it any more. i'm ready to go. take me now. i'm done. i'm so fucking sick and tired of helping people and helping people, and helping people and getting nothing back, no gratitude even. you ask for advice i tell you and you shove it in my face. you want me to do more, so i take on new projects and head them up, and fell like it's still not enough. you tell me that you are going to do stuff and they don't get done till i do. Thank you. thank you for making me the bitch i guess i need to be to get anything done. Thank you for making me see that i really am a much better person than you. Thank you for nothing. you are worthless to me untill you figure your own life out. i'm speechless. i honestly don't know what to say but this is my destress and tomorrow, is a new day. and this week is going to change everything. either you change or i change. i have a feeling i know which one it's going to be. so good bye. please be gone when i wke up...

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mood

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ecstatic

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Well two great things happened to me today. I had a pretty good day in general but 2 things in the last half hour made it GREAT!!!

thing one....i got my HOBET scores. For those of you who don’t know it is the Health occupation basic entrance test thing i had to take to get into the radiography program. well i got a 94 on the math part and an 88 on the reading and a 91 composit.  those are the three that matter. According to the paper that puts me in the 99 percentile all around... so. i’m figuring that that is good. but i won’t know till the beginning of next month if it is good enough to get me into the program.

ok number 2) I finally passed my kidney stone tonight!!! thank god. cuz i was in quite a bit of weird pain tonight. I still hurt a little bit, feel a little weird.... but at least that one is out. Un fortunately i have one sitting in my left kidney still.... but i will worry about that one... when it starts to hurt. lol

Just to top it all off I START WORK TOMORROW!!!! I’m excited. happy to have something to keep my busy. and learn new stuff, and be around animals and ... well other people for a while.

Oddly tho, i’ve been getting a blody nose lately. Nothing like flowing blood, but like a runny nose with blood mixed in. i know too much info... lol. It’s got to be the weather. it rained ALOT the other day but now its drier again. Comming from Florida i’m use to it being humid. My body is still ajusting.

Oh, i’m stil doing well in school still. after one semester i’m on the honors list.

one last thing!!! 30 days and counting. lol. till what? check my profile, i’ll be putting up a count down soon..

Ok, well, that’s what is going on with me. I hope everyone else it going good too

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depressed

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I don't know what's going on again. Things are good. I might be getting a job at an animal hospital which isn't a people hospital but it's a step in the direction of more of a career. it's not waitressing again that is for sure. got a 2nd interview tonight and should know about a  3rd and final interview by wed of next week. so i could be wroking at a pretty darn good job by the end of the month. GREAT!!!.... mike and i are good, i think, tho i'm pretty sure i just pissed him off. we go out, we layed out and watched the eclips of the moon last night. yet something is wrong. i still feel like no matter what i do ot how much i try to do it's not enough again. it was suppose to be different this time. Do better in school...check. Be closer to my family and spend more time with them.... check. have a good guy...check. Have someone to reall depend on and be happy with...mostly check. Find friends...working on a check. Find a not waitstaff job.... really close to check. I think. Find a tkd school and be involved in it....big check. So... WTF?! why am i so damn unhappy sometimes. I know everyone has thier days but it seems mine are those weeks. I can't put my finger on the thing making it hard. i have a few ideas. i'm still working on weather those are my fault or not.  sometimes i don't think it is because i am really trying. and i really see a difference in who i am, but i guess it's not enough or fast enough for some people. But i don't voice it because i'm still figuring it out. i don't want to make a big deal out of things and be wrong. i want to make sure i'm right, that it's not me and my fault. when they are MY problems, MY faults i keep them to Myself. I know that i have someone to talk to and i'm sorry i don't talk to you. I just CAN'T. honestly can not. i hope reading this might help you understand it's not any of ya'll fault it's just who i am. for the rest of you...enjoy the shpeel. :(

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cold

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Well, i'm no longer in Tampa. i'm in Charlotte NC. I'm going to school at the community college for Radiography. My christmas is pretty much over. my family is going out of town and i'm dog sitting. My boyfriend is working nights now. so he's gone from about 6pm to 8am over the weekend. i guess that that is better than him working 12 hours in the day time. at least now i can sleep though the time's when he's not here. It's hard. I miss him like freaking crazy and it's just 12 hours. lol. it's a new feeling. anyway's., it's cold. We found a TKD school that we are going to start going to. Getting back in shape. i guess that's about it for now. hollar later. lol. 
nic

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mood

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curious

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wow it's been forever. I hope that this will be another way to get stuff off my check. Leave me a message. talk to you later. Love nicole

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crushed

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been doing alot of thinking...never a good thing. V-day sucks ass...rusty decided the 13th that we aren't going to be seeing each other as often if at all really. he's got too much to worry about to be in any kinda relationship. followed by "o ya tomorrow's v-day isn't it. i forgot...sorry" then the 15th he askes me if i would be ok with him going out on a date with some girl from work...sure go for it. that would make me happy...::drip drip sarcasm drip:: well, the 13th i went with him to get his industrial peircing. it was horrible!!! the guy was sooo bad. fucked up like 3 times befor he got it close enough to right for rusty to tell him to leave it. it made me so sick to watch him bleed and have holes peirced in him...I couldn't watch him pierce his ear how am i suppose to be about to cut people open the rest of my life? what was i thinking? sigh...then steven starts being all mean to me and stuff. even when i'm trying to be nice. it's been a ruff few days with rusry and CRAPPY fucking work. omg...i have to get out of there...so i know my attitude hasn't been the greatest so i understand to an extent but even when i'm trying to be nice? i don't think so. maybe i should just move in to an apartment by myself. O i haven't poseted about kim on here yet either. lets just say i'm pissed at her. tried to help her not kill herself, she lied and tricked me went back to the cause of her problems (him) and then had him call me to tell me that i was really the cause of her problems...i don't think so. fuck that. done. so 3 people i talk to down...2 to go...and go figure it's the 2 people who will read this that are still around...hmmm...interesting. i'm sure ashley, that you will read this too. but we don't really talk much. i miss you bunches. when are you going to come see us down here? ...well, i'm ganna actually kinda pay attention in class...no i'm not. but i'm going to go for now. ttul.
melia

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mood

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lonely

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since so few people are ever still on here...maybe i can rant...i feel so alone...it's like where did all my friends go? why do i not have someone to tell everything too and cry on? i want things to be like they use to be. i'm ganna go cry now.

Explanation: When injured your body
focuses on the wound and heals rapidly, within
a few seconds. This makes you pretty much hard
to kill and you can help people in danger using
yourself as a shield. Almost anything is
possible in combat but you prefer looking after
others. In bad purposes you can do the same as
above but for evil intentions.
This power fits you pretty good since you want
to help those around you, and when you are
pretty much unstopable, that's not an obsticle.
You are caring and nurturing and are more a
pascifist. Even if you know there are much
unfairness in the world you still chose to see
from a positive angle because you belive in the
good of this world. You are probably friendly
and have a soft spot for people who are not
accepted. Though to others you come of as naive
and gullible. You could be taken advantagde of
if the wrong person comes around. Even if you
could be seen as pure, you are not that
completely since you're human and make mistakes
too.

Negative aspects: If your naiveness has
been making you blind for too long you could go
into dark thinking.

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calm

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jonny! i thought of you wen i saw this. let me know if you want more info. i'm not sure if you got the whole e-mail but i can send it again if u want all the info. there is other stuff to but this cought my eye for u.

What’s new at Under the Gypsy Moon?? We are looking for people interested in taking classes to be trained in Reiki. Please contact any of us here at the shop to discuss this opportunity. If there is enough interest, we will be offering classes in Reiki as soon as this can be arranged.

not sure if you are still into this stuff but i figured i would mention it. mwah.

to everyone else: am update is to come...all i've really been doing lately is replying to people...guess i should update myself...maybe tomorrow. it's late now.

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grateful

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i'll try to think of all thos thingss...

01. Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
02. I will then tell what song/movie remind me of you.
03. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, it would be...
04. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
05. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
07. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
08. Put this in your journal


Other news!!
WE GRADUTATED!!! woot woot. done. no more highschool. dear gods it too long enough. i'm in my new place. i'm head over heels for a new guy. Rusty and his Son Devin...idk if i've mentioned them before. i can't wait for my family to leave. they have been driving me NUTS lately. but i have my own place to go to where they can't bother me....tho kc and steve still can...but i'm sure they won't. steve sleeps all day and kc works...that leaves just me to do whatever.
Carlos texted me the other day. it hurt but it was ok. he understands wat he did to me was wrong and it hurt me alot and y i don't really wanna talk to him right now. i do want to be able to be friends with him some day. i still care alot about him i'm just not sure how much right now and i don't need to put that kinda pressure on myself right now. carlos if you read this ...i'm sorry things ended how they did. i love you. i hope you can be happy again.
So splash bash is tonite...the last time i'll see alot of people from school. my grad party is friday...noone RSVPed really...that's cool. it can be small and mostly family...it's cool. that will make it cheeper...gadda worry about money right now...lol
I finially get to have a bug bed when the grandparents leave. probably around thursday dads ganna set it all up. i can't wait!! i want my Bed!!
i should be getting my tattoo on sat. my father is taking me down to Ebor and we are ganna get something done. speaking of ebor i went there for the first time sat nite. it was fun. we were ganna go to the ZAR but it was closed so we ended up in HEDO...pretty cool. lots more of the R&B stuff to dance too. went with rusty, kim, chris and his mom and dad.
well, i guess thats about it. talk to yall later.

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mellow

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so, being 18 hurts worse than being 17 and it's only been...not even 2 whole days. at this rate my lifes going down hill and fast!! lol. o well, at least now i can go to the clubs and dance and get lost in a new world with people i NEVER have to know and who then in turn can't hurt me. everywhere i turn there are new dissapointments and new people offering them. other than Smith. you've always been here to help me out or just make me feel better. even if you did have to hurt yourself last nite to do so. :) thanx for being such a good friend. i'm always here if you ever need anything (an escape, help moving furnature so you don't hurt urself lol..anything) then there is kim who i've been spending more time with and who wants to take me to the clubs so we can have fun. of course that will be with her boyfriend too but watever. it will still be fun. i'm starting to be good friends with kaylin (guy) at school he's cool. likes trucks and play fights with me. it's not like i see him outside of school or anything witch makes me perfectly happy. i'm moving into my appartment May 7th (the day of prom) it's out on bears and livingston. you'll all have to come help me move in. yay. kinda scary. moving out, taking care of myself, collage...sigh. well, i guess i'm done for now. talk to ya'll later. mwah. outs

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sick

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so, i'm home sick from school today. i'm way too stressed out!! it's too late in the year to have to be doing all this work. it's crazy. and even tho i'm home from school mom still gave me a bunch of stuff to do around the house. so it's not like i'm in bed getting better or anything. i'm quite surprised she let me stay home at all. she of course woke me up earlyer too to make sure i had time to do all my work. i'm still not doing it. i have to back at school at 3:30 for spectrum rehersal...blah. i broke down last nite from the stress and who was there to pick up my peices? peters. thanx. you always take care of me. well, i'm off to a shower. it's about the only thing i have to do today that i actually feel like doing. lol. mmmm nice hot steamy shower followed by a nice relaxing bath. i should be back in an hour or so. peace